Category Archives: Human Resources

Open Discussion: What’s the Strangest Thing your Boss has Asked you to do?

Open Discussion: What’s the Strangest Thing your Boss has Asked you to do?

Leave your comments below. This is a safe space!

I bet you that at least once you have been in an awkward situation at your job that involved your boss. According to a study made by CareerBuilder, 23% of the employees reported that their bosses ask them to perform tasks that are not related to their jobs.

It is completely normal when your boss asks you things like: “When are you going to finish your paperwork?”, “Can you stay two or more hours to finish this thing?”, or “Why are you googling memes instead of working?!?” OK, you probably aren’t doing that at work, but you get the point.

Well, there is a very thin, almost invisible line, between a normal work-related question and an asked favor that is completely inappropriate. The important thing here is to differentiate between them so that you can avoid situations that you don’t want to be in.

Examples of some strange things that bosses have asked their employees:

Things unrelated to your job.

“My boss asked me to be in a photo shoot for an ad dressed as a superhero”.

“She asked me to pluck a black hair off her face before a meeting”.

Requesting Personal Favors

“The boss asked me to be a surrogate mother for her – more than once.”

“He asked me for a back rub”.

Something very Embarrassing or Illegal

“She asked me to wait on her illegally parked car”.

“He asked me to lend him money for….”

  • How to Keep a Good Relationship with your Boss

No matter what weird thing that has been done or said to you by your boss, you have the right to say no. First, remember to have a good relationship with your boss, and if you want to keep it that way, communication is very important. So, first listen, be patient, and then be clear and polite about what is or is not appropriate behavior.

To read a great article which includes four ways to tactfully say no to your boss, CLICK HERE. However, if your boss continues in the inappropriate behavior, you may need to seek the counsel of your HR department.

How to Say No to Your Boss

What strange things has your boss requested you to do and how did you handle the situation? Comment below:

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant for entertainment purposes only and are not to be taken seriously.

Disciplining an Employee – The Bad Boss Way

Disciplining an Employee –

The Bad Boss Way

 

heads roll

The bad boss way of disciplining an employee is very distinct and easily recognizable. It is what sets apart the real bad boss from the mere imitators.

In order to be a hot shot bad boss, one must enforce employee discipline in the following ways. If not, he or she is just a pretend bad boss and nothing more. It is a sure-fire way of determining a real bad boss.

The following methods, in no particular order, are the hallmarks highly definitive of a true bad boss. Only bad bosses dare do these.

  1. A bad boss would go to the supposedly erring employee, shout insults, and tell him or her what they did wrong without allowing for a chance to explain.
  2.  A bad boss would let everybody in the office know that he is reprimanding the employee as a show of how powerful he is. The bad boss believes that this is the best and only way to instill discipline among the ranks.
  3. A bad boss would take the word of the first to complain as gospel truth and would not bother to listen to the employee being complained about. To the bad boss, it is an unwritten rule that the employee who first complained is the one telling the truth.
  4. A bad boss would treat a counseling session as a sermon where he is the only person allowed to talk or shout. He will go over and over the issue and his way of managing it until he is done.
  5.  A bad boss would ask the supposedly erring employee to admit to the mistake so that there will be no more wasted time investigating what happened.
  6. A bad boss would tell the supposedly erring employee that there is a complaint against him or her. The bad boss would not divulge the complainant and instead would ask the employee what it is that they think that they did wrong.
  7. A bad boss would determine whom to discipline by greatly relying on what he or she heard through the grapevine.
  8. A bad boss would be very vague about what behavior is not to be tolerated.
  9. A bad boss would not tell the employee the dos and don’ts. Instead, he would wait for the employee to make a mistake and then discipline him or her.
  10. A bad boss would discipline an employee by humiliating him or her or by belittling.
  11. A bad boss would tell the employee, after discipline is discussed, that he does not know what to do with the erring employee.
  12. A bad boss would treat any error regardless of its nature or consequences as if they were of the same degree.
  13. A bad boss doesn’t care about the procedures. He doesn’t follow the company policies when it comes to disciplining employees. A bad boss would give weight to office politics and have it reflected in how he would discipline a supposedly erring employee.
  14. A bad boss believes that the best way to achieve discipline is make a clear example of how it would be dealt with. A bad boss would tell the employees that for every error made, heads will roll.

When it comes to discipline, a bad boss has little care on how he or she would handle it. The main reason is that the bad boss believes that discipline is simple.

Discipline is so simple that it is a waste of time to think about how to discipline an employee. The bad boss thinks of discipline as a method of associating painfully bad ordeals to a perceived error.

The formula is simple – “Error equals bad consequences”. The bad consequences of course depends on the whims of the bad boss. Always remember that the bad boss has no time for simple things.

The bad boss always thinks of the bottom line. The bottom line in discipline, as far as the bad boss is concerned, is simple – if a perceived wrong happens, let it be known in whatever way, enforce discipline in whatever way, and more importantly…let the employees know that heads will roll.

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously..

The Wrong Way to Discipline an Employee…

Slang words for Employee by Bad Boss

minions

Slang words for Employee by Bad Boss

The complete list of bad boss words for defining an employee.

Definition: A bad boss views an employee as…

  • A person to treat as lower than thou.
  • Someone who does lowly or monotonous work.
  • An unskilled worker with a low social class.
  • One who is stupid or an idiot.

Don Draper tells his employee… “I don’t think about you at all.”

Here goes…

To the bad boss, a menial employee is a peon, slave, worker, inferior, staffer, gimp, blue-collar, laborer, subordinate, hand, wage earner, desk jockey, human resource, personnel, workforce, dogsbody, drudge, drone, foot soldier, plugger, grunt, grub, slogger, toiler, workhorse, coolie, porter, serf, lazybone, loafer, slouch, idler, slug, 9 to 5er, goldbrick, shirker, nobody, straggly, servant, bondman, insurgent, mutineer, revolter, chattel, thrall, indentured servant, domestic, lackey, handmaid, attendant, odalisque, helot, thrall, agnostic, discordant, fief, stooge, pillion, muppet, puppet, airhead, bimbo, derp, dingbat, doofus, clutz, nimrod, bozo, couch potato, creep, lush, mule, plank, pinhead, tool, twit, wasteman, minion, etc.

Have we missed any? Leave your comments below.

As a bad boss, how do you use some of these words? Some of these derogatory terms are particularly useful for the bad boss when he can’t remember his employee’s names. For example:

  • Muppet: a stupid person or an idiot. Call your employee and say, “Come to my office now, Muppet!”
  • Wasteman: a worthless person. You pass your employee’s cubicle and joke, “Wasteman, you’re a waste of space”.

Other derogatory terms for employees, by the bad boss, can be used as a classing system for referring to your lowly workforce as a whole. For instance:

  • Stooge: serves merely to support bad boss. Looking out over your production line, from behind a glass window, tell your superior, “Just look at how hard my stooges work.
  • Minion: servant of a more powerful person. Your superior asks you to do a menial task. Respond to your boss, “Ok, I will get one of my minions on it.”

Minions1

By the way, to a good boss, an employee is a partner or teammate. Derogatory language in the workplace can create a hostile work environment.

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Here is an interesting article on derogatory terms in the workplace:

The Bad Boss Performance Review

performance evaluation

The Bad Boss Performance Review

Prior to the employee’s performance review, discuss how the employee is doing with other managers or subordinates in the office. The point is to spread gossip and allow the employee to catch wind of your perspective in order to give them a head start on their rebuttal. If you don’t like the employee, this will also make them very nervous, which should make you (the bad boss) happy. 😉

Moral support! The first rule of giving performance reviews is to have someone included in the meeting who is on your side. You can bring in anyone into this meeting that you want. Bring in a colleague from another department, your girlfriend, or even your best friend, “Mr. Wiggles”, your pit bull dog.

Have a camera man on standby to record each job performance review so that you have a documentation of the proceedings. If the employee messes up again, you now have a video that you can replay for them to recall the previous conversations on the issue.

During the performance review, be as vague as you possibly can. This will ensure that the employee does not become uncomfortable during your proceedings. You might say things like, “We’d like to see you do better”, but don’t indicate what they need to work on.

Bring up things in the performance review from months or years back. The employee will have a hard time remembering these occurrences. Therefore, they will be at a loss as to how to respond to your accusations.

Intimidating facial expressions and body language are important! Know when to use them! Keep your employees guessing and instill fear so that they will be less likely to question you or defend themselves. Some facial expressions and body language to practice, prior to the performance review, are: crossing your arms, scowling, squinting, & shaking your head in disgust.

Next, hearsay is the best indicator of an employee’s performance. Make sure to point out any hearsay and third party reports about the employee that has been brought to your attention. Ensure that you discuss specific names of those who are making the allegations so that confrontations can proceed after the hearing.

If the employee does try to defend himself, just cut them off mid sentence and let them know that you are short on time. If they continue to press the issue, hand them a blank document and ask the employee to fill out their own performance review. This will give you an idea of the employee’s perspective. Ask the employee to be completely honest when filling out the document. Plus, it will occupy their time while they try to identify their own strengths and weaknesses. Allow employees to question each other on how they think they are doing.

Above all, never feel obligated to give an employee a perfect score. This is an impossible achievement for anyone. Also, just because an employee is doing well on their performance review, you should not be cornered into giving them a raise for their hard work. To avoid raises completely, always find something wrong with everyone!

As a bad boss, it is your job to bust every optimistic bubble and glimpse of hope in the office.

An Awkward Performance Review…

Disclaimer: Bad boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Articles on the subject of performance reviews: