Category Archives: Types of Bad Bosses

The Micromanager Boss – The Progress Nazi

The Micromanager Boss

The Micromanager Boss –

The Progress Nazi

I am the micromanager boss. Employees who like to work independently, think that I am their biggest nightmare. You could call me the progress nazi. I use my authoritarian leadership style to provide clear directions, explain when tasks should be done, and how they should be done with no input from my employees.

As a progress nazi, I check on my employee’s work every 2 to 3.5 minutes. Any employee who falls short, of my unmeetable expectations, will be moved closer to my office where I can have a better view of their computer monitor and watch their keystrokes like a hawk.

If it were up to me, I would install cameras over each of their desks, but that is not in our budget. So instead, I move my chair around the office and devote much of my time sitting next to each employee to watch over their shoulder.

That’s right! As a control freak, I am the dictator of my office. I must directly make each and every decision, be the head of significant assignments, and provide detailed direction for every menial task that my employees take.

The only ideas that I need to hear are my own. My employees just need to listen and learn from me. I never seriously consider their ideas or opinions. Whenever an idea is brought to my attention, frequently I will cut this individual off mid-sentence.

There will be no escaping from me! If any employee attempts to sneak into an empty meeting room to do their work, I will find them. I know where each of my employees are at all times. Consider me a human gps locator. Leaving your desk is never an option!

Headphones and music are not allowed in my office! Employees should be strictly focused on their work at all times. Music distracts from work progress which is unacceptable! Progress must continue without delay!

Most of the time, I feel that I am the only one who takes this job seriously. Being a progress nazi, in my opinion, is therefore good management. Accepting responsibility for everything that’s done falls to me.

“If you want something done well, you’ve got to do it yourself”.

  • The Progress Nazi

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously.

How to Micromanage like a Real ass****

Some interesting articles on the subject of the micromanager:

The Perfectionist Boss

5S_Desk

The Perfectionist Boss

I am a perfectionist boss. Everything is perfect because of me. That’s it. Just for reading my words, I have already made you smarter. Your welcome.

My work, how my employees’ work, and even how the stapler is placed on my desk, must be perfect. Everything I see and touch, must be up to my expectations. This doesn’t just stop for me; it goes to my employees as well. I can’t just let them be imperfect while I strive so hard to get everything to perfection. Sure, they get their tasks done at the end of the day, but was it done to perfection? Never. My employees need me to constantly correct them and show them how perfect I am. Here are some things I do to make my department a perfect place to work.

Never Change – Since I’m perfect, and have been so for so long, there’s no need to change. I remind my employees this by stomping their ideas out. When they talk about new things, business ideas or market approach, I remind them of how stupid they are and how perfect I am, therefore my department will never change.

Crushing ambitions – I can never fail. My employees will ruin my perfect image if they fail in trying new things so I have to be overly critical to myself and anyone around me. I extinguish any form of hope. No matter how promising their new ideas may sound, I simply cannot take the risk that it ends up in a failure, not even once. I remind them of this through rejection. I make sure my employees have absolutely zero space for creativity at the workplace.

Never be open-minded – New people, interests and passions are not for me and I simply do not waste my time with them. An open mind allows contaminates and idiotic ideas in which taints perfections. A closed mind is shielded from such stupidity and remains pure, and perfect. When an employee says “I have an idea,” I interrupt them by saying “I’ve already thought about that, my idea is better.”

I’m a perfectionist, and my perspective is the ONLY perspective. Everyone working under me must follow my ways and STOP SCREWING UP!!!

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and not to be take seriously.