Free Babysitters!

Child Care

My kids are well behaved and adorable, yet my employees complain when I bring them to work. I work in a business which has a strict policy against this, but I am the boss. I call the shots here in my office. Free childcare is on my agenda.

Do my kids interfere with my secretary’s ability to do her job? Do I care? More than likely they are with me because their regular daycare has asked me to pick them up due to a high fever, which is out of my control. My secretary just needs to focus on the rules that I have set for her when caring for my children to avoid a meltdown.

  1. Do not correct my kids. Sure, little Billy chases you around and yells, “You’re fired!” He is my protege and will someday follow in my footsteps.
  2. Give them what they want. If Susie asks for that candy bar, highlighter, or paper on your desk; better hand it over. Susie is used to getting what she wants.
  3. Count to ten. If my kids start getting loud by hollering or running around the office, just count to ten. Counting warns them that their behavior is unacceptable.
  4. The Paper Shredder. Keep both of my kids away from the paper shredder. Last time Susie jammed cardboard in. It was throwing sparks and smoking when I used it.
  5. Potty training. We are in the process of potty training Susie. If she says that she has to go, that absolutely can’t wait! She will go in her pants.
  6. Snot Tissues. The daycare said that Billy’s nose is running & he is likely suffering from something contagious. He’s complaining of a sore throat so it’s probably strep.
  7. Call their mom. If something happens to get out-of-hand while I am in my meeting, call their mom. She is likely at the gym, getting her nails done, or shopping.
  8. Uncontrollable crying. If either of my kids start to cry uncontrollably, it’s because I have left them with a stranger. Just step away from your desk & take a short breather.
  9. Tune it out. Keep everyone calm while Billy makes animal noises or sings his favorite song. If anyone mentions the disturbance, just tell them to tune it out.
  10. Nap Time. My meeting may run a little long and into the kid’s regular nap time. They may become cranky. Make a spot under your desk and I will wake them when I get back.

Disclaimer: Follow your company’s policies regarding whether or not to bring your kids to work. Disregarding company policies can get you fired. This post is an example of what some bad bosses do and should NOT be done. We are not responsible for the use of this example literally in the workplace.