How to Appear Successful – An Ounce of Image…
The Bad Boss Way
There’s a well known saying ‘An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance’ which basically means, we would be much wiser spending our time on our image to appear successful than working hard.
As there are 16 ounces in a pound, then the general opinion is that by focusing more on our image, then we will be over 10 times more successful than people who focus on results.
Given that success from hard work is never guaranteed, then this is a no brainer, creating a good image is less work and has a higher probability of Success.
So what should your image be:
- Look successful
Flashy car, flashy suit, it sounds a cliche, but that’s because it is. Successful people always show the tappings of success: Armani Suit, Porsche, Rolex, etc. If you have all these, then you must be successful. If you can’t afford a Porsche, you can always hire one for the day. Make sure everyone sees it and also make a big deal of it. Then tell people that there is a problem, and you can’t believe the loaner they have given you. Also ensure that you have lots of Porsche Car magazines in your office too, as this will confirm you as a Porsche driver.
- Look busy
Always be in a hurry. This is a clear sign of someone who is Successful. If people try to stop you and speak to you, tell them, “Sorry, I’m late for an important meeting”. Always carry lots of papers, and always always be seen taking lots of work home – you don’t need to do any at home, but we’re talking image here.
- Appear to be in demand
Successful people are always in demand. So, ensure that your calendar is always full, and encourage suppliers and partners to call requesting your time. Remember you don’t need to go. You just need to appear to be in demand.
- Be seen with other successful people
Successful people only ever mix with other successful people. So, the more successful people you can be seen with, the more successful people will think you are. At company functions, only spend time with the senior managers, especially the most senior person there. Also, if you can get your photo taken with a famous celebrity, then make sure this is prominently displayed in your office. We don’t recommend you photoshopping yourself into pictures with say Tom Brady or Barack Obama, not unless it can be done tastefully and well.
- Show your credentials
Have your credentials displayed on your wall. If you don’t have a degree, or have a poor degree, then there are plenty of Papermill Universities who will provide certificates for less than $50. If you do create a fake degree, make sure it’s in a subject that you will not need to use so as to not get found out. For example, I have a PhD in Molecular Biology, but as I work in IT there is no chance anyone will ask me questions on this, but they will still be impressed. If you have any sports trophies you have won, have them on display too. You can always buy trophies and then claim to have picked up an injury which is why you never play anymore.
- Have a good looking wife/girlfriend
A sure sign of success is to have a good looking wife or girlfriend; the more glamourous, then the more successful you will appear. If your partner isn’t good looking, then we suggest you dump her. Unless she is incredibly rich, otherwise she is holding your career back. If you’re single, then find a photo of a beautiful woman, and put this on your desk, claiming that this is your ex. Not only will this send the message out that you’re successful, but it will also signal to other good looking women that you’re a catch and will increase your chances of snagging them.
Remember it’s all about image, appearing to be successful, not actually being successful.
The more of our suggestions you can follow, the more successful you will appear, and don’t forget people are gullible and believe what they see.
If you do this it will lead to you being offered better jobs, higher salaries, etc, and the rewards associated with being successful.
Disclaimer: How to Be a Bad Boss is meant to be humorous. This article, is aiming to show the shallowness of people who focus purely on image, which we do not recommend. According to Forbes, a leader’s image has a direct correlation to their leadership abilities. Learn more about this subject at the links below:
- Forbes Article by Lisa Quast: Is Your Leadership Image Helping or Hurting Your Career?
- Center for Creative Leadership (CCL): Building an Authentic Leadership Image.
- Leadership Principles by Gordon Tredgold: Image versus Results