Tag Archives: Bad Boss

Disciplining an Employee – The Bad Boss Way

Disciplining an Employee –

The Bad Boss Way

 

heads roll

The bad boss way of disciplining an employee is very distinct and easily recognizable. It is what sets apart the real bad boss from the mere imitators.

In order to be a hot shot bad boss, one must enforce employee discipline in the following ways. If not, he or she is just a pretend bad boss and nothing more. It is a sure-fire way of determining a real bad boss.

The following methods, in no particular order, are the hallmarks highly definitive of a true bad boss. Only bad bosses dare do these.

  1. A bad boss would go to the supposedly erring employee, shout insults, and tell him or her what they did wrong without allowing for a chance to explain.
  2.  A bad boss would let everybody in the office know that he is reprimanding the employee as a show of how powerful he is. The bad boss believes that this is the best and only way to instill discipline among the ranks.
  3. A bad boss would take the word of the first to complain as gospel truth and would not bother to listen to the employee being complained about. To the bad boss, it is an unwritten rule that the employee who first complained is the one telling the truth.
  4. A bad boss would treat a counseling session as a sermon where he is the only person allowed to talk or shout. He will go over and over the issue and his way of managing it until he is done.
  5.  A bad boss would ask the supposedly erring employee to admit to the mistake so that there will be no more wasted time investigating what happened.
  6. A bad boss would tell the supposedly erring employee that there is a complaint against him or her. The bad boss would not divulge the complainant and instead would ask the employee what it is that they think that they did wrong.
  7. A bad boss would determine whom to discipline by greatly relying on what he or she heard through the grapevine.
  8. A bad boss would be very vague about what behavior is not to be tolerated.
  9. A bad boss would not tell the employee the dos and don’ts. Instead, he would wait for the employee to make a mistake and then discipline him or her.
  10. A bad boss would discipline an employee by humiliating him or her or by belittling.
  11. A bad boss would tell the employee, after discipline is discussed, that he does not know what to do with the erring employee.
  12. A bad boss would treat any error regardless of its nature or consequences as if they were of the same degree.
  13. A bad boss doesn’t care about the procedures. He doesn’t follow the company policies when it comes to disciplining employees. A bad boss would give weight to office politics and have it reflected in how he would discipline a supposedly erring employee.
  14. A bad boss believes that the best way to achieve discipline is make a clear example of how it would be dealt with. A bad boss would tell the employees that for every error made, heads will roll.

When it comes to discipline, a bad boss has little care on how he or she would handle it. The main reason is that the bad boss believes that discipline is simple.

Discipline is so simple that it is a waste of time to think about how to discipline an employee. The bad boss thinks of discipline as a method of associating painfully bad ordeals to a perceived error.

The formula is simple – “Error equals bad consequences”. The bad consequences of course depends on the whims of the bad boss. Always remember that the bad boss has no time for simple things.

The bad boss always thinks of the bottom line. The bottom line in discipline, as far as the bad boss is concerned, is simple – if a perceived wrong happens, let it be known in whatever way, enforce discipline in whatever way, and more importantly…let the employees know that heads will roll.

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously..

The Wrong Way to Discipline an Employee…

The Strange Case of a Jekyll and Hyde Boss

The Strange Case of a Jekyll and Hyde Boss

Have you ever read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?  It is a book about a man, Dr. Jekyll  (the good guy) who is also Mr. Hyde (the bad guy). This scenario is called a split personality, or a bi-polar disorder, which is a not-so-rare mental condition nowadays.

How does this have anything to do with being a bad boss you say?  Actually, I think it is such a brilliant idea to cover your flaws with your awesomeness.

jekyll and hyde

As a boss, I believe balance is the key.  You can’t be all too friendly with your subordinates or else they would think that they could get away with anything.  The moment you see them letting their guards down and getting too close for comfort, you tell them to mind their own business and get back to work.

Same applies if I had a really awful morning at home.  Let’s say, I fought with my wife because she’s accusing me of not having enough time for her and the kids.  What rubbish!  I can’t understand and accept that she sees it that way.  So I go to work, feeling terrible and ready to strangle anyone who crosses my path.

What do you know, there is Bob who chose that exact time to submit a horrible report.  Aha!  Here’s my chance to unload, decompress, unburden myself of the bad feelings, the guilt and all those nasty words that I wanted to say to my wife, but can’t (Are you kidding me?! Divorce is very expensive)…

…and Bob was there at the right time and place.  Time to blow off steam… so I let him have it!  I told him what I really think of that trashy report.  It doesn’t matter if he didn’t sleep the night before just to finish it.  This is my chance to lash at someone or I’ll go crazy!

Like a good subordinate, he just stood there, making lame excuses or apologizing, whenever I stop talking to catch my breath.  Oh, you bet I let him really have it!  After lunch, I realized that I should make up for what I had done.  I should do something to make Bob and the rest of my team, who saw and heard everything, forget that I’m quite a monster.

So I say, “Team, let’s have lunch…my treat!”   At the nearby Chinese restaurant, while slurping their noodles and munching on dim sum, I tell each of my guys how wonderful they are.  I tell everyone how Clarence closed a big account, or how Mitch fast-tracked a particularly overdue project, and don’t forget my buddy Bob, whom I could always depend on for crucial competitive report…and all is well again in Neverland…or so they thought.  Bwa haha ha! (evil laugh).

No one needs to know the real me.  Oh come on!  Everybody has a bad side.  All I have to do is compensate every time I did something sinister (like the bad boss that I am) and once again, I am their hero, the charming debonair.  Clever isn’t it?

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. A Jekyll and Hyde boss can be a hard type of bad boss to work for as you never know what their mood will be.

 

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde 
[Kindle Edition] $0.00 Free

Creating Dysfunctional Teams

Creating Dysfunctional Teams

Creating dysfunctional teams is the favorite pastime of the bad boss. The bad boss enjoys making a big mess out of the team. The big mess is actually the bad boss’ way of handling the team correctly.

The technique involves two stages. First, the bad boss envisions himself or herself as a hero conqueror to save the primitive subordinates from themselves. Second, he or she then goes about the conquest.

Stage 1 – The first stage is important. The bad boss thinks of himself or herself as a hero conqueror out to rule a place where there are lots of fierce but primitive and unsophisticated warriors that are just dying to be led by some great power. Hence, the bad boss must exude an air of a noble heroic conqueror out to save the day.  To do this, the bad boss must find a suitable henchman. The bad boss must have someone who will be loyal to the bad boss no matter what. After identifying the henchman all the rests are enemies that need to be either annihilated or conquered.

Stage 2 – The second stage is all about how the bad boss goes about the conquest of his or her team. The techniques are tried and tested. It’s guaranteed to be effective and potent. The conquering part is done using the simplest but challenging strategy called “divide and conquer.” The team members should never see eye to eye. The bad boss should prevent mutual understanding among members. This is done with the following in mind.

Keep enmity among the team members. This will make them busy looking for each other’s faults and mistakes. This is the bad boss’ way of keeping tabs on each member. It’s the bad boss’ brilliant way of delegating his or her overseeing functions without the members knowing it.  The bad boss will take different sides and encourage one to engage on skirmishes with one another promising support and withholding it for whatever justifications when it would create more enmity. The bad boss will allow his or her members to compete for alliance with him or her at all and any cost but never with each other.

Cause confusion. The bad boss should keep communication lines unclear, illogical and of no use. There should be no clear communications among the team members. Should there be any showing that one is being attempted to be established, quickly destroy it. Everyone should be left in the dark and only the bad boss knows what to do, supposedly anyways. The bad boss makes sure that his or her acts follow unclear paths so that no one knows what to do.

Policies and rules are formalities but never to be followed. The bad boss likes creating rules and policies for each and every thing that happens. However, the bad boss always comes up with an exception and is always wise to know how it is to be applied or if not to be applied. There are rules which can’t be relied on because the interpretation lies with the bad boss. The unwritten rule about this is that the rules are enforceable if the bad boss will be served by it, otherwise tough luck.

Grapevine communication lines network. The bad boss gives weight to all communications that comes out of this manner of communication. In fact this is the real deal as far as the bad boss is concerned. He or she invests heavily on this communication network and it serves as basis for his or her decisions or actions. This is actually the official communication lines as far as the bad boss is concerned and is a well guarded secret from all the team members.

Establish an espionage work. The bad boss learns about spying skills in James Bond movies or that of Mission Impossible movies. The bad boss never really trusts anyone but him or herself. Doing everything above board like checking man hours, evaluating productivity reports, job monitoring, performance evaluations are such a bore and time consuming activity for a bad boss. The bad boss is way above all those things and plays with the big league. The big time bad boss does spying activities. The big boss thinks that there is always a secret out there that he or she must uncover.

The underlying concept here is simple. The bad boss has no other person to rely on but himself or herself to manage a team. In order to maintain power over the team members, the bad boss must keep the team from uniting. This will make the team manageable as far as the bad boss is concerned. Always remember, the bad boss should always be in control!

Example of a good team. 😉

Disclaimer: Bad boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously.

Slang words for Employee by Bad Boss

minions

Slang words for Employee by Bad Boss

The complete list of bad boss words for defining an employee.

Definition: A bad boss views an employee as…

  • A person to treat as lower than thou.
  • Someone who does lowly or monotonous work.
  • An unskilled worker with a low social class.
  • One who is stupid or an idiot.

Don Draper tells his employee… “I don’t think about you at all.”

Here goes…

To the bad boss, a menial employee is a peon, slave, worker, inferior, staffer, gimp, blue-collar, laborer, subordinate, hand, wage earner, desk jockey, human resource, personnel, workforce, dogsbody, drudge, drone, foot soldier, plugger, grunt, grub, slogger, toiler, workhorse, coolie, porter, serf, lazybone, loafer, slouch, idler, slug, 9 to 5er, goldbrick, shirker, nobody, straggly, servant, bondman, insurgent, mutineer, revolter, chattel, thrall, indentured servant, domestic, lackey, handmaid, attendant, odalisque, helot, thrall, agnostic, discordant, fief, stooge, pillion, muppet, puppet, airhead, bimbo, derp, dingbat, doofus, clutz, nimrod, bozo, couch potato, creep, lush, mule, plank, pinhead, tool, twit, wasteman, minion, etc.

Have we missed any? Leave your comments below.

As a bad boss, how do you use some of these words? Some of these derogatory terms are particularly useful for the bad boss when he can’t remember his employee’s names. For example:

  • Muppet: a stupid person or an idiot. Call your employee and say, “Come to my office now, Muppet!”
  • Wasteman: a worthless person. You pass your employee’s cubicle and joke, “Wasteman, you’re a waste of space”.

Other derogatory terms for employees, by the bad boss, can be used as a classing system for referring to your lowly workforce as a whole. For instance:

  • Stooge: serves merely to support bad boss. Looking out over your production line, from behind a glass window, tell your superior, “Just look at how hard my stooges work.
  • Minion: servant of a more powerful person. Your superior asks you to do a menial task. Respond to your boss, “Ok, I will get one of my minions on it.”

Minions1

By the way, to a good boss, an employee is a partner or teammate. Derogatory language in the workplace can create a hostile work environment.

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Here is an interesting article on derogatory terms in the workplace: