NBC is producing a comedy about what happens when bosses have vaginas. This new comedy was inspired by an essay, written by Hillary Winston, which appeared in Playboy last year. The essay was appropriately named, “When Your Boss Has a Vagina”. The project, which is currently untitled, will be headed by Ms. Winston, who is known for her role in the popular CBS sitcom, “Bad Teacher”.
According to Jenny Kutner, with Salon News, Hillary’s essay indicates that we can expect to see a lot of “good old-fashioned overblown gender stereotypes”. Hillary states that gender is not a factor at all in bad bossing, because she has worked with bad bosses of both sexes. Hillary tells us how a bad boss, in any sex, may behave:
- Have a fight with your fiance the night before and take it out on your employees.
- Make your employee work on the weekend but don’t tell them until Friday.
- Stock the break room with only snacks that you like.
- Notice that your employee’s car isn’t there right at nine.
- Doubt that your employee is telling the truth about being sick.
- Resent your employee’s appointments: car trouble, out-of-town weddings, dentist, etc.
- Leave early just to beat traffic, but make your employees stay and work.
So, how should a bad boss “with a vagina” act, in the opinion of Hillary? She states that there are differences between men and women bad bosses due to social customers; such as opening the door for a woman, wearing low cut provocative clothing, and having your ass checked out by men (because you’re a woman; not because you’re the boss).
The plot is about a new “lady boss” who joins a “fratty corporate office”. Salon News writer, Jenny Kutner, believes that along with the sexually objectifying jokes, at female boss’s expense, we may also see a few helpful lessons, to be learned in the series, about equality in the workplace.
Gender Equality Works…
Kutner, Jenny. NBC picks up a new “comedy” about what happens when bosses have vaginas. Retrieved on August 11, 2014 from http://www.salon.com/2014/08/08/nbc_picks_up_a_new_comedy_about_what_happens_when_bosses_have_vaginas/
Everyone has done it; held onto an employee for too long. For whatever reason, you might not address the issue directly. But there are times when you need to let a whole office of staff go. For instance, today, someone took a dump in your private restroom and no one will fess up to it. Here’s a list of 50 ways to make ALL your employees quit.
- Curse at your employees.
- Adopt an arrogant attitude.
- Don’t appreciate their work.
- Bring drama to the office.
- Create office politics.
- Threaten people with their job.
- Physically micromanage them.
- Sneak up behind them and watch them work.
- Say they can’t be trusted to make smart decisions.
- Establish cliques and turn them against each other.
- Have a favorite who gets away with anything.
- Point out everyone’s faults.
- Ignore office safety risks.
- Do not offer any praise.
- Don’t offer any hope for advancement.
- Sniff the women; only the pretty ones.
- Demand they work every weekend.
- Increase their workload to overkill.
- Tell them they are stupid.
- In fact, say a blind limbless monkey could do their job.
- Demotivate, demotivate, demotivate.
- Regularly get to work late. Make them come in on time.
- Be absent for any reason & no reason at all.
- Enforce double standards.
- Make unreasonable demands at all times.
- Hold the spoon and stir the pot.
- Enforce extreme working hours.
- Repeat things over and over and over.
- Conduct some inter-office romance.
- Make them work through lunch.
- Be negative about the company.
- Slowly clean out your office.
- Spread some false information.
- Be disconnected and disinterested.
- Tell them to pack their desk & keep it ready.
- Assign work they are not qualified to do.
- Blowups on your part should be iminent.
- Skirt your duties and duck out.
- Resent those who follow the rules.
- Tighten their deadlines.
- Write them up for menial things.
- Tell them the company is in trouble.
- Publicly humiliate them.
- Keep them on a rigid schedule.
- Take away raises.
- Use fear as a management tactic.
- Neglect all interpersonal relationships.
- Always promote and hire externally.
- Defraud your stockholders.
- Give your workers outdated equipment.
or you could just…
PAY THEM TO QUIT!
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Tell us, in the comments below, about your bad boss story.
Here at Bad Boss we are starting a Dictator Management Advocacy. Learn how to be a good dictator and gain absolute power, as a BAD BOSS, right here! Muh ha ha ha ha. Muh ha ha!
First, you need to become an achiever and strive to be at the top in whichever department that you are currently working. Once you achieve your desired position, ultimately your goal should always be to strive to keep going up the corporate ladder until you eventually reach the top. But, until then here are some common dictator behaviors that you should adopt.
Cultivate some single-minded, greedy, and power hungry goals. “To succeed in your mission, you should have single-minded devotion to your goal” – Abdul Kalam. What are some examples of single minded goals, you say? The opposite of single mindedness is a team player. So, don’t be a team player. Only think of your own needs. Dismiss anyone with an inkling of an idea or any information that does not contribute to your single-minded goal.
Gather a group of only like-minded followers. Create fear or a problem so that your group of like-minded followers feel that they need you to correct the situation. One way to do this is by firing anyone who refuse to contribute, or object, to your single-minded goal. Become lacking in any form of human nature. Don’t tolerate ANY unconformity. Have meetings in which you are the head, main speaker, disallowing any collaboration of thought or understanding by discouraging questions.
Definitely dismiss anyone with a higher level of education or experience. They are ultimately a threat! They will in some way take away your power at some point in your single-minded goal-path and must be eliminated immediately! You only want facilitators, or brainless promoters, as your followers. Only recruit and retain those who accept your power and decisions unquestioningly. Keep your followers stupid and under your thumb!
If something goes wrong; learn some coping mechanisms like yelling to gain compliance. Find yourself a scapegoat within your clan of robots. This person will take the blame for anything that goes wrong with your dictatorship. This covers your butt and guarantees your future. Because no one should ever know that you could possibly make a mistake. Remember, followers are key to your dictatorship. However, you need to always maintain strict order with your followers so that your superiors are convinced that you have everything under control.
Speaking of superiors, you should be gaining their loyalties by showering them with an unwavering brown nosing attitude. Always be out to impress and kiss their butt. Whenever possible, try to wine & dine them. With your responsibilities, have your ducks in a row. There are never problems; you have all the answers and solutions. You are the only one responsible for success. You take all the credit as the mastermind behind everything; and failures are always attributable to your scape goat.
You are now unstoppable!
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous. We DO NOT advocate you becoming a dictator. Dictators are terrible bosses! Do you have a real life experience working for a dictator boss? Tell us about it HERE.
The bad boss way of disciplining an employee is very distinct and easily recognizable. It is what sets apart the real bad boss from the mere imitators.
In order to be a hot shot bad boss, one must enforce employee discipline in the following ways. If not, he or she is just a pretend bad boss and nothing more. It is a sure-fire way of determining a real bad boss.
The following methods, in no particular order, are the hallmarks highly definitive of a true bad boss. Only bad bosses dare do these.
- A bad boss would go to the supposedly erring employee, shout insults, and tell him or her what they did wrong without allowing for a chance to explain.
- A bad boss would let everybody in the office know that he is reprimanding the employee as a show of how powerful he is. The bad boss believes that this is the best and only way to instill discipline among the ranks.
- A bad boss would take the word of the first to complain as gospel truth and would not bother to listen to the employee being complained about. To the bad boss, it is an unwritten rule that the employee who first complained is the one telling the truth.
- A bad boss would treat a counseling session as a sermon where he is the only person allowed to talk or shout. He will go over and over the issue and his way of managing it until he is done.
- A bad boss would ask the supposedly erring employee to admit to the mistake so that there will be no more wasted time investigating what happened.
- A bad boss would tell the supposedly erring employee that there is a complaint against him or her. The bad boss would not divulge the complainant and instead would ask the employee what it is that they think that they did wrong.
- A bad boss would determine whom to discipline by greatly relying on what he or she heard through the grapevine.
- A bad boss would be very vague about what behavior is not to be tolerated.
- A bad boss would not tell the employee the dos and don’ts. Instead, he would wait for the employee to make a mistake and then discipline him or her.
- A bad boss would discipline an employee by humiliating him or her or by belittling.
- A bad boss would tell the employee, after discipline is discussed, that he does not know what to do with the erring employee.
- A bad boss would treat any error regardless of its nature or consequences as if they were of the same degree.
- A bad boss doesn’t care about the procedures. He doesn’t follow the company policies when it comes to disciplining employees. A bad boss would give weight to office politics and have it reflected in how he would discipline a supposedly erring employee.
- A bad boss believes that the best way to achieve discipline is make a clear example of how it would be dealt with. A bad boss would tell the employees that for every error made, heads will roll.
When it comes to discipline, a bad boss has little care on how he or she would handle it. The main reason is that the bad boss believes that discipline is simple.
Discipline is so simple that it is a waste of time to think about how to discipline an employee. The bad boss thinks of discipline as a method of associating painfully bad ordeals to a perceived error.
The formula is simple – “Error equals bad consequences”. The bad consequences of course depends on the whims of the bad boss. Always remember that the bad boss has no time for simple things.
The bad boss always thinks of the bottom line. The bottom line in discipline, as far as the bad boss is concerned, is simple – if a perceived wrong happens, let it be known in whatever way, enforce discipline in whatever way, and more importantly…let the employees know that heads will roll.
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously..