Admin Day – Glad that’s OVER!

Happy Admin Day

Admin Day – Glad that’s OVER! 

Now, we can all look forward to the REAL celebration…

BOSSES DAY!

ADMIN DAY has to be the most OVERRATED holiday ever! Yesterday, April 23rd, one of the other managers in my office asked, “When was the last time you thanked your secretary?”… FOR WHAT?! Doing her job that I pay her to do? I know that I have thanked her for something…at some point…but I am a busy boss, so…. Then he reminded me that it was administrative professional’s day.

…Administrative Professional’s Day? I thought it was some sort of joke. On my list of priorities, Admin Day ranks right up there with Talk Like a Pirate Day and getting trampled at some store on Black Friday. If I observe this Administrative Assistant’s Day, what’s next? She’ll be wanting Columbus Day off, too?

My coworker mentioned that he forgot Administrative Assistant’s Day last year and he had to hear his secretary complain about it for a month.

How about I just thank my secretary when she does something RIGHT for once?

Let me tell you what admin day should be for… reminding our secretaries of the things they are doing wrong. It should be like a new year’s resolution list for her to improve on to serve me better going into the next year. Or maybe just a short note, to show her that I am thinking of her…

To my secretary on Administrative Assistant’s Day:

Going forward, my coffee should be in my hand,

hot and delicious, when I arrive to the office.

My note will be followed by her gift, which will consist of a day off WITHOUT PAY to attend a career development seminar or training.

Trailer: NINE TO FIVE (Special Secretary’s Day Screening) from Nitehawk Cinema on Vimeo.

Disclaimer: Show your secretary that you appreciate her by acknowledging her hard work on secretary’s day. Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not to be taken seriously.

Clueless – Fake it Until YOU Make it!

I applied for a management job that I was unqualified for and I had no idea how to do. But, hey, I’m a boss now, and you can be one TOO! …Just fake it until you make it!

The first step to fake it until you make it is to get the job. This is basically just about appearing confident that you can do the job, even if you can’t. Whatever the job description says, try to be that person. Take some acting classes to prepare for your big day. In your job interview, there are two basic things you need to do to fake it until you make it.

  1. Dress the part.
  2. Pretend that you know stuff…

Fake Boss

If you fake it until you make it, once you’re in your new management position, you might find that you don’t know what’s going on most, if not ALL, of the time. Maybe you don’t know what to do to get the job done….Don’t worry!

Get your employees to teach you!

Never directly ask an employee how to do something. This will surely blow your cover! Instead, question the task at hand. For example, just say, “What would YOU do in this situation?” Try to draw your employee into a position where they will explain the task without knowing that you don’t understand.

If this fails… delegate, delegate, delegate! Tell your peon employee that you need them to take over whatever task it is. Make them feel important. This will motivate them. Say they are inheriting a task that is only worthy of their time.

You might respond, “That sounds good. Since you know so much about this, I want you to take over this account!” After your employee accepts the new assignment, set a deadline for its completion.

You’ll catch on soon enough. But if you don’t, just call in sick on days that you feel overwhelmed.

 

Disclaimer: If you are offered a position that you can’t do, it is unethical to accept it. PMI Code of Conduct – You should only accept a position that is consistent with your background, experience, skills, and qualifications. Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not to be taken seriously.


Houdini – The Disappearing Act

Houdini Act

My employees call me the Houdini…because I am a great escape artist…they can never find me…just the way I like it.

When it comes to planning an excellent disappearing act,

we can learn a lot from RATS.

Just open your cage door and let yourself OUT!

Ladies and gents, the moment that you have all been waiting for! The great disappearing act! Who’s ready to see this spectacular finale? What a lively crowd! Alright folks let the magic begin! Here’s how to escape your office like a rat!

Look at me… I am Houdini-ing like a boss!!

When I am in a tough situation, my survival instincts kick in. The more stressful the situation, the better. Houdini-ing is a lost art form, so as bosses, we should embrace our inner cat-like reflexes, skitter out of there, and hide somewhere safe.

cat hiding

There are dangerous factors about being a boss. If I wasn’t able to escape certain situations, I would be be mangled and potentially killed. So far, at work, I’ve nearly drowned myself in paperwork and senior management have almost blown my ear off with phone calls.

That’s right, Houdini-ing may save your bottom! It could be game over, for real. Some great places to hide… (where they will never find you)…

  • In your car.
  • Under your desk!
  • In an empty meeting room.

And next time a member of senior management calls, just have your secretary say, “He is not available right now”.

While you’re hiding, always be thinking positive. If you focus on what could go wrong, if you panic, it will go wrong.

 

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not to be taken seriously.

How to Be Remembered Fondly

best bossHow to Be Remembered Fondly

As a Bad Boss, sometimes our reputations might stop us from being remembered fondly by our organisation.

However, there is one guaranteed way that we can esnure we are remembered fondly, and that is by making sure that we are followed by some one worse than ourselves 🙂

No matter how bad we have been, if we can position someone even worse to take over when we will leave, this will improve our legacy.

When we take control we need to look to surround ourselves with people who are even more obnoxious and offensive than we are, as it is likely that one of these will be our successor.

This often has the additional benefit of making our staff appreciate us more, as they will surely detest our direct reports even more than they hate us. Win Win 🙂

I often delegate the communication of any dodgy decisions to my staff, allowing them to take any discredit for these damaging policies, distancing myself unless they become successful.

Another good approach is to ensure that you leave prior to any of the damning policies you have implemented come into full effect, this way you successor will receive the majority of the blame. We can always claim everything was fine when I left.

As Bad Bosses we need to be constantly on the look out for promotions, or new positions outside our companies, so that we are constantly able leave prior to any excrement hitting the fan, thus leaving us with a clean record.

As we know everyone loves a successful boss, and leaving prior to failures reaching their full impact, is almost as good as being successful.

So if you want to be fondly remembered, remember these 2 simple rules.

  1. Ensure you are succeed by someone worse than yourself
  2. Leave before the excrement hits the fan

 

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not to be taken seriously.


…because good guys finish last.

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