I am a perfectionist boss. Everything is perfect because of me. That’s it. Just for reading my words, I have already made you smarter. Your welcome.
My work, how my employees’ work, and even how the stapler is placed on my desk, must be perfect. Everything I see and touch, must be up to my expectations. This doesn’t just stop for me; it goes to my employees as well. I can’t just let them be imperfect while I strive so hard to get everything to perfection. Sure, they get their tasks done at the end of the day, but was it done to perfection? Never. My employees need me to constantly correct them and show them how perfect I am. Here are some things I do to make my department a perfect place to work.
Never Change – Since I’m perfect, and have been so for so long, there’s no need to change. I remind my employees this by stomping their ideas out. When they talk about new things, business ideas or market approach, I remind them of how stupid they are and how perfect I am, therefore my department will never change.
Crushing ambitions – I can never fail. My employees will ruin my perfect image if they fail in trying new things so I have to be overly critical to myself and anyone around me. I extinguish any form of hope. No matter how promising their new ideas may sound, I simply cannot take the risk that it ends up in a failure, not even once. I remind them of this through rejection. I make sure my employees have absolutely zero space for creativity at the workplace.
Never be open-minded – New people, interests and passions are not for me and I simply do not waste my time with them. An open mind allows contaminates and idiotic ideas in which taints perfections. A closed mind is shielded from such stupidity and remains pure, and perfect. When an employee says “I have an idea,” I interrupt them by saying “I’ve already thought about that, my idea is better.”
I’m a perfectionist, and my perspective is the ONLY perspective. Everyone working under me must follow my ways and STOP SCREWING UP!!!
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and not to be take seriously.