Humorous Tips for Bad Boss, Types of Bad Bosses, Uncategorized July 28, 2018 Melinda Longoria, MSM Leave a comment
One of our readers writes, “At one of my previous jobs we had nicknames for nearly everyone. My favorite was a guy who leadership hired, from outside of the company, as our manager. We found out that he was getting fired about two weeks before it actually happened. For that two weeks we called him “Dead Man Walking”. Incredibly rude…but hilarious.
Many managers aren’t aware of an impending sack from their jobs, which makes them a “Dead-Man-Walking Boss”. Even though any firing leads to shock, sadness, and insecurity, the management position, in general, are quite frequently the first position to be laid off. This can happen for many reasons, including budget cuts, but also could be due to the availability of others who are more reliable, skilled, and knowledgeable at the work.
Although a manager might not be able to stop the board’s plan to follow through with the firing, the level of shock can be reduced by paying attention to the following warning signs.
#1) Lack of Communication
Having employees is the reason that you are a manager. Therefore, you need to make sure that your employees are happy and that they do not leave the organization. A high turnover rate is a very strong sign of a bad manager. If employees do not feel valued, or appreciated, they are more likely to leave the organization. Show your employees that you really care about them by having regular one on ones and helping them to progress in their career goals.
In turn, your employees will feel more job satisfaction and your reputation, as a manager, will not suffer. If you have a large amount of staff resigning from their jobs, this is a warning sign that often leads to a manager being sacked.
#2) Where is Everyone Going?
While surfing the web, during your lunch break, you observed that your colleagues and, gasp, even employees are heading for a meeting room. Shouldn’t you be wondering why you weren’t invited? When you are being left out of key meetings, like this, the project being discussed will definitely last beyond your tenure with the company.
Although your staff and colleagues might not have the knowledge of the looming sack, they have been asked to leave you out of the meeting. This means that your expiration date has already been determined by the board.
#3) Why Did Sally get Your Assignment?
The company may have decided that some projects are beyond your capability. Maybe you are being lined up for better opportunities, but it could also mean otherwise. If your responsibilities are being assigned to other staff, that shows that you aren’t fully trusted by leadership to handle such projects successfully. If you’re being asked to step down from high exposure company projects, or committees, leadership may need to bring you out of these roles so that less employees are impacted when they let you go.
#4) Your Boss Is no Longer Available
At one time, your boss may have valued your opinions, to the point where he sought you out on certain questions to get your advise for a meeting. You may have even been previously asked to sit in on these meetings with him, which are now not happening. You may have a sense that he is unavailable. Perhaps he or she has canceled your one-on-ones or even refuses to schedule a meeting with you to discuss anything. If you start receiving discussion solely in E-mail format, that should have been a one-on-one conversation, this is a clue, by the company, which isn’t good for your job reputation.
#5) Did They just Hire your Replacement?
The final blow could be the new employee who, coincidentally, has the same, or better, qualifications than you have. Has your boss asked you to train the new employee on what your job responsibilities are? The new guy keeps getting more and more of your work to the point that you are now not doing anything. This new person could be your replacement. This is a bad sign that you could be getting fired.
Do Not Fret; Take Action!
A manager should not worry too much about the above points, rather, he or she should take action. If there is an opportunity to hold onto your job, if you desired, ensure that you are performing well while also planning your next action at the same time.
What Are The Signs of Getting FIRED!
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously.
Dead Man WalkingSigns of Getting FiredWalking Dead Boss June 30, 2018 Melinda Longoria, MSM Leave a comment
Have you ever been run over by your boss? Some call this type of boss, The Bus Driver Boss because it seems like he throws his employees under the bus and then runs them over. No one likes working for a boss that is quick to point fingers. So, instead of telling you how to be a bus driver boss, we’ve got an interesting bit to share about what it takes to be a real boss of bus drivers. 🙂
What it takes to be a REAL Boss of Bus Drivers:
Daily, millions of passengers take the public transport, which makes them susceptible to road mishaps. One of the most important responsibilities of the transportation company is to ensure those passengers always arrive at their destinations in a secure manner. One of the ways to ensure safe and efficient driving is to boost the driver’s morale, which can be achieved by the manager.
Being the boss of a driving company comes with many responsibilities such as making sure the drivers are punctual, clean the buses, check the engine oil, general light maintenance and scheduling of drivers for trips. To ensure the passengers reach their destinations safely, having a good working relationship with your drivers, will motivate them to do their assigned task and also make the company grow successful.
Below are ways to boost their morale!
Make life easier for your bus drivers
There are many things that a transport company manager can do to ease the challenges faced by the drivers such as:
- Giving support to the drivers.
- Healthy communication between the transport company and drivers.
- Install technologies that help locate safe routes with less traffic and prevent them from passing illegal routes.
Reward them for safe driving
The installation of technologies in buses to monitor driver’s performances like adherence to speed limit, efficient use of fuel, stopping distance, etc. has created opportunities to boost their morale. Use the recorded data on the performances of bus drivers to reward them instead of using it as a deterrence.
Keep your bus drivers updated
Instead of dishing out new rules and regulations. Invite your crew to a meeting to educate them why there are changes in policy and the benefits that come with it. This will also allow your drivers to ask questions about insurance crash investigators and police officers.
Also provide up to date best practices advice that will allow the drivers to fine-tune their driving skills.
Organize days for free lunch and movies
One of the best ways to boost your driver’s morale is to promise them things that they will look forward to. Scheduling movies and free lunch for your drivers monthly will serve as a reward for their hard work and make them see you as a caring boss.
Keeping your bus drivers satisfied is a strategy that should be implemented by the boss. At a little cost, giving bonuses to bus drivers and improving their working amenities will surely lead to a safe and efficient driving. The above tips will motivate the drivers and lead to the growth of the transport company at the same time.
One Bus Driver’s Boss wants cameras on the buses:
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously.
Scan this QR with your phone to see a cool Driver Themed Mug:
Bus Driver Boss Bad Boss Communication, Giving Feedback, Humorous Tips for Bad Boss March 31, 2015 Melinda Longoria, MSM
Dropping the Bomb: How a Bad Boss Delivers Bad News to Employees
It’s a fact that being a bad boss is not easy, especially when you need to deliver bad news to your employees.
Typical reasons for needing to deliver bad news to employees, include:
- Legal Issues
- Product Recalls
- Large Scale Layoffs
- Untimely Departure of an Executive
As you will notice, there are three critical techniques in delivering any bad news to an employee and that is to deliver the message FAST, don’t apologize, and always make your exit swiftly. Do not remain in the room as this will only cause the employee more stress as they try to choke back their tears in front of you. Never admit any blame or apologize for any grievance. Avoiding questions is in everyone’s best interest to minimize confrontation.
- With the bad boss, there is always the direct approach when delivering bad news to employees, “You’re all fired. There are empty boxes lining this wall for a reason; use them, people!” Hand an empty box to the nearest employee standing next to you. Don’t apologize and make your exit swiftly.
- SANDWICH the bad news into the conversation. For a softer approach, start by saying something positive, slip the negative statement in quickly, and then close with a distraction. Try this for an example, “Thank you all for coming in to work today, our office is closing and your last check will be delivered Friday, we’re providing Pizza for lunch for those who finish the week with us”. Make your exit swiftly to avoid questions.
- Politician Approach – If you somehow become trapped in an uncomfortable situation where questions fly your way by disgruntled employees, just deny everything like a politician! “What are you talking about? No, we did not promise free Pizza for lunch today, but you will get your paychecks”. Your goal was to get the employees to work till Friday; mission accomplished. Remember, you have two different party’s interests at heart, that of the employee and of upper management. But, for the bad boss, upper management comes first and that might take a little lying.
- Let them find out from others… Still don’t like the idea of communicating to your employees or the potential confrontation? There is always the option to allow your employees find out the company is going out of business from outsiders, the news, or your public press release. This tactic is especially effective if you feel that your staff might jump ship early if they are tipped off about the bad news. You could also let them continue to blissfully work unaware of the pending danger, and then place a note on the locked doors for them to encounter upon arriving to work on Friday.
- Corporate jargon deliverance speech: Is your superior in some amount of bad publicity due to his or her unexplained and untimely exit? Avoid hurting the entire company’s morale by keeping this questionable detail to yourself. Instead of telling the truth, the best way to deliver this news is with a departmental or company-wide speech that is filled with very confusing corporate jargon. “Despite what you may hear in the news, we are encouraging a new green initiative and Bill has graciously volunteered to be our first work-from-home executive”. As always, make your exit swiftly.
Or you could deliver good news in person, and bad news in Email:
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant for entertainment purposes only and are not to be taken seriously.
Bad NewsFiring EmployeesLayoffsProduct Recalls August 13, 2014 Melinda Longoria, MSM
The Bad Boss lives by the blame game motto: NEVER be the target of any blame. Always doll out the blame to your subordinates, absentees, or outsiders. In the Bad Boss’s mind, these tactics will build your self-esteem and help you get further in your career. This article is an encyclopedia of blame in the workplace that anyone, at any level of their company, and at any stage of their career, can benefit from reading because playing the blame game ALWAYS works.
When your next team project fails, and it will (because you’re the Bad Boss), there are many strategies for dishing out the blame. Who is to blame? It’s always someone else’s fault, but NOT yours! The blame and responsibility should be distributed individually or collectively to your group. Don’t allow your employees to determine your career success or failure! It is not difficult to play the blame game. When your boss starts to ask questions, save your skin and cover your butt!
The Accountability Policy
At Bad Boss, we “recommend” that you first implement a department “Accountability Policy”. – Help people take responsibility by having an accountability policy for your office to create a culture of blame. This will assist in setting the stage for your expectations when things go wrong. People avoid responsibility for many reasons, like laziness, fear of failure, or size of the problem. In your policy, make it clear that employees will be terminated who make excuses, miss deadlines, or fail to take responsibility because it hurts the well-being of the team. In any case, if your employees shirk responsibility, they’ll ultimately fail in their jobs which will put your name on the line. The latter reason is the most important and should motivate you to address the issue before it ever becomes a problem.
Here are the top five ways to allocate blame like a Bad Boss:
- Blame ANYONE, ANYTIME, for ANY REASON – Blaming People for The Wrong Things, For NO Reason, at the Wrong Time. When you’re a bad boss, there is never a wrong time to blame an employee for any reason; even for the wrong things. It doesn’t matter if the employee did or did not do what you are blaming them for. The point is to make them the scapegoat to save your own skin. Never allow yourself to be in the direct line of fire; sacrifice your subordinate instead. If you’re looking for an easy target, pick a passive member of your team. This person will have a reputation as a doormat and will not stand up for themselves when they are being attacked by your blame game. But really any man just standing by will do!
- Blame the Last Guy – Were you recently promoted to your current position? When problems come up, just blame the last guy who had your job. Even if he wasn’t let go, demoted, or otherwise removed, you can still blame him! Was he promoted to a better position or elevated in your company? All the same, he’s fair game to be blamed for your teams problems. After all, if the last guy was so wonderful, he wouldn’t have left the department in the disorder that you now find. He is responsible for hiring the performance problems now in your department. He is at fault for leaving the unresolved issues in your inbox. Tell your team, to get the focus off them, they need to agree with you that the last guy was incompetent. This will give your team hope that you will be better.
- Blame it on Your Customers or Vendors: Your vendors and service providers are an easy target to blame because they cannot effectively defend themselves. Therefore, blaming an outsider is a workable solution. If your business’s reputation is on the line, blaming the outsiders will help the executive team to avoid some pretty unpleasant realities and has very few political backlashes.
- Blame it on Technology – There are many choices for making an IT related accusation, which include placing the blame with the network, storage, an application, database, hardware, etc. Sometimes these complex systems break even when everyone did what they were supposed to. Therefore, you are quite safe in placing the blame with IT. Nearly everyone understands that IT failures happen and often. Even if you’ve used this excuse before, when IT fixes a problem it doesn’t necessarily reduce the risk of another incident. “To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.” – Robert Orben.
- Point the Finger Back – If someone blames you for something, just point your finger back at them and say, “No, it’s your fault”. You may follow up by explaining that “your interpretation of the problem is not the same as my interpretation of the problem”. Point out any inconsistencies in what they say or do and defend yourself. “If somebody’s pointing a trembling finger at your pants and saying you shouldn’t be doing that, follow that finger back, go up the arm and look at the head that’s behind it because there’s almost always something fairly woolly in there”. – Jock Sturges.
Other ways to play the blame game are to:
- Blame the new guy
- Blame the economy or weather
- Blame the weakest team member
- AND MORE!
Avoid Decision Making
While you are playing the blame game, make sure that you don’t make any decisions. Either go with the suggestions of others or hire in a consultant to make your suggestion. This tactic gives you the added benefit of being able to fire the intern if it fails later, thus ensuring that you remain blame free.
Respect Office Politics
Also, respect your office politics! Don’t let anyone above know that you are avoiding blame. Or if someone senior caused the problem, don’t piss them off by placing blame with them. This could jeopardize your position; so let’s just brush it under the rug. Let us elaborate;we look to blame no one; implying that it would be bad to do so. Never, under any circumstance, ever….blame a senior executive. We’re not into blaming. Therefore, it’s unfair to point the finger at senior management. Instead, you should just look to focus on fixing the problem. If the question comes up, just respond by saying, “I’m not into blaming,” (nudge nudge wink wink), “It’s whats-his-name, but I’m sworn to secrecy. You know blaming is not my style”. And, if someone must be blamed, then hire an external, blame them, and then fire them.
Finally, always have an escape plan to avoid being blamed: take a vacation, sick day, or just duck out. Tell your superior that weren’t there when it went wrong, or as it went wrong, and you don’t know what is going on; but you will get to the bottom of it. Don’t take blame for other’s mistakes; YOU don’t have any!
Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Taking the high road of honesty and being accountable for your mistakes is the best option in business.
Allocating BlameAvoiding BlameThe Blame Game