How to be a toddler boss…

Get dressed for work – First, your mom will shake you awake, get you up, and then help you bathe and put your clothes on for the day. Then, she will pack you a lunch, pat you on the bottom as you walk out the door, and load you into her car to be delivered to your “job” where you’re the boss.

Rumors about You – As a baby toddler boss, your employees, colleagues, and superiors all expect you to do several things, which include: throwing tantrums, getting upset, melting down, losing it, being unreasonable, unpredictable, bragging, demanding, being insensitive, bullying, refusing to share or take turns, being stubborn, lying, self-absorbed, territorialism, and doing the opposite of what you say, or that people tell you to do, ignoring employees and their concerns, among other childish pastimes. Just a few examples…

  • Being Unreasonable – Firing employees at the drop of a hat for any/or no reason at all; and in front of everyone no less.
  • Refusing to Take Turns – Jumping into the elevator, or pushing your way in, before anyone can exit first.
  • Being Insensitive – Not knowing your employees names; or even caring that you don’t. In fact, you call them by any wrong name.
  • Doing the opposite – Telling an employee that they can take a vacation day; but then scheduling them to work anyway.

What People Say – Your coworkers will say things behind your back, such as, “He acts like a child”. “He can dish it, but he can’t take it”. “Give that task to Gerald’s group instead, the Baby Toddler boss will just have a melt-down”. “Don’t go in his office right now, he’s having a tantrum; or sucking his thumb”. Someone may even ask your secretary if she forgot to bring your bottle, pacifier, or security blanket today.

A Taxing Situation – Working with a bad boss, any bad boss, can be difficult. But, you (the baby toddler boss) are particularly taxing because you are literally in training pants on a daily basis. To your team, it seems that you will never grow up. They are anxious to see you potty trained already because they are tired of changing your diaper. Yes, your coworkers are weary of trying to remain calm while timing their communication, and sugar coating it, with you; anticipating problems in their “parenting” of you.

Boo Hoo, No one Respects You – There is little that you do as far as thinking through your situation to cope. Your reactions to stressful situations are just that: reactions. You live in a fantasy world where your behavior, endless questioning, fickleness, neediness, helplessness, forgetfulness, short attention span, mood swings, and irrational fears  are acceptable.  But, as a Baby Toddler Boss, you don’t concern yourself with other’s needs (only your own) remember? So, here’s a lolly pop. Your employee will tell you that they have it under control”, they are on it, or it’s already being handled. Go back to your office and finish your warm bottle of milk. Rest assured that your mom will be here shortly to pick you back up, feed you supper, tuck you in, and tell you a nighttime story.

Disclaimer: Bad Boss posts are meant to be humorous and should not be taken seriously. Do you have a real life experience working for a baby toddler boss? Tell us about it by clicking HERE. 

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